Fake Deals, False Messiahs: Trumpism And Black Friday

What Trumpism Teaches About Black Friday

Black Friday is an annual race to the bottom — but the winner of last November’s race to the White House showed how far there still is to fall.

No Fake Discounts here

...but look at the top of the page for an honest one.

Black Friday is a circus of illusion and Donald J Trump might be its ringmaster.

Every year, the same ritual: retailers shout “Massive savings!” while quietly hoping you don’t notice the price was inflated last month and the weight, size or spec. has shrunk.

The bigly man who once claimed to have “the biggest brain” and “the best words” has more in common with a fake Black Friday banner than he’d admit: all confidence, but no substance. Bluff, bluster and marketing BS.

“The Best Deals. Nobody has better deals!”

The Very Stable Genius: Filed six corporate bankruptcies.
The Very Shifty Retailer: Launches “record-breaking discounts” every other Tuesday.
When everything’s always on sale, nothing really is. It’s not a deal — it’s theatre.

“Totally legitimate. Very cool.”

The Very Stable Genius: Used charity money to buy a portrait of himself.
The Very Shifty Retailer: Labels synthetic scarves as “ethically sourced” and “sustainable.” If the product needs five adjectives, it’s probably none of them.

“Limited stock! Time is running out!”

The Very Stable Genius: Declared emergencies when the cameras stopped rolling.
The Very Shifty Retailer: Slaps countdown clocks on surplus stock.
Manufactured urgency is the sad trombone of marketing.

“Absolutely NO COLLUSION”

The Very Stable Genius: Denied it before anyone asked.
The Very Shifty Retailer: Claims a product was £999 when it was never sold for more than £699.
The louder the denial, the cheaper the deal.

“Trump University: graduate in disappointment”

The Very Stable Genius: Sold fake degrees from a non-existent university.
The Very Shifty Retailer: Sells “expert-recommended” duvets with a drape like cardboard.
When the brand is bigger than the substance, you’re buying marketing, not quality.

An education in how to be conned.

Honest Don (as he once styled himself) may be proud of this one.
The Very Stable Genius: Marketed success, delivered lawsuits.
The Very Shifty Retailer: Promises comfort, delivers landfill.
Trump University didn’t need classrooms. It sold an idea. Just like every “exclusive Black Friday launch” that ends up half-price by February.

The Wool Company Believes in the Opposite

We don’t inflate prices to cut them later. We don’t shout about things we can’t prove. And we definitely don’t need gold taps.

Our Black Friday is simple: real offers, on real products, for real people. Because quality doesn’t need a gimmick.

And no, we haven’t got the best words. But we do have the finest fibres.